I am a Haribo Gummy Candy Whore and foul-mouthed writer of romance, sex, immature and inappropriate humor. Yes, this is all a reflection of me and I can only hope you respect me in the morning. But I don't expect it, in fact, I'm used to letting my trashy mouth weed out the classy folk.

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Basically, if you like cursing, laugh at gross jokes, and can handle my bi-curious tendencies, then pull up a plastic lawn chair, grab a plastic dollar store cup filled with Boone's Farm or Mad Dog, and let the overpowering scent of my designer impostor perfume assault your senses.

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Welcome!